Sweet 16

This morning is my oldest child's 16th birthday. I've been so tender-hearted when I think about this almost man in my midst. He is growing up so fast. They all do and it's such a cliche. And the thing about cliches is, they're true. This man child is racing toward a future that doesn't include breakfast at my table on a daily basis.
Geez. That just made me cry.
And when I sit and watch him from across the room, I am so pleased to know him. I can't express in any form of language that I know, what it feels like to have him call me mother.
That made me cry, too.
Last week, he and  the teenagers at church went to an assisted living seniors center. He spent time talking to the residents there. When he came home, he played "Go Fish" with his two youngest brothers. He played so long I had to make them all quit and get ready for bed- which was difficult to do, the scene was so sweet.
Did you know this boy who is taller than me, stronger than me, smarter than me, has never raised his voice to me?
Actually, since the age of 3, none of my kids really have....My husband said its because we've taken the time and set the example of how to feel different emotions without behaving badly.
Breath is wasted telling people not to be mad, or angry.
Everyone feels those emotions. Better to coach them through the feelings; help them recognize stuff and come through it still liking themselves and everyone around them.

One of my favorite parenting moments with Ethan happened when he was 10. My husband was in DC and I was home with 5 kids, one being a teeny new baby.
I had caught Ethan in a lie. I don't remember the details, but I told him because he had been dishonest with me, he couldn't go to the birthday party he was planning on attending that weekend.
He was not happy. Everyone was in bed, including the baby sleeping in a bassinet at my bedside. I don't know if Ethan came in to talk to me or if we started a conversation when I tucked him in, but we ended up in my bed talking about the lie and the party.
We talked about actions and consequences. He acknowledged the lie, but wanted a different punishment.
I said something to the effect that when your 10 and you lie, you don't get to go to your friend's birthday party.
When you're  20 and you lie, you make a poor teacher and servant to those around you while you serve your mission (we're Mormon so this is what he'll be doing at 20).
And 30 year old liars lose the respect of their wife and break their children's' hearts.
Then I asked him which consequence he was willing to pay. I told him when he's ready to pay the price, he's ready to learn the lesson.
He stayed home from the birthday party and we have never had to talk about honesty since then.
I loved that moment. I'd live it again and again. And every other moment with him, too.
Except that time when he was two and he took his diaper off at nap time and smeared poop all over himself.
I could do without that.
But I could never do without my sweet boy.