Epic

today started out normally.
it may have spiraled down hill after lunch time.
i may have been supressing some frustration with my children and their messy rooms.
in fact, i told them i was handling things well and they should pat me on the back.
i may have gone up stairs and noticed the beanbag in my daughter's room. telling her to keep it in the closet may have been the reason she shifted her weight from side to side and her valiant effort to not roll her eyes.
after a pregnant sigh, i went down stairs.
while attempting to open a kitchen drawer, the one with all of the odd-sized and random kitchen gadgets, i may have flipped out when it wouldn't open all the way.
i may have yanked on it and slammed it shut over and over again while screaming, "i can't take it anymore!"
my older sons, upon hearing my louder than ever voice, appeared in the kitchen. So did my daughter. who propmtly started crying.
gadgets where beginning to pop out of the drawer. i was making slow progress getting it open. my two little boys were eating their sandwiches at the table. they were both laughing at the show.
with all five close by, my previous thoughts that the children were colletively working to bring about my destruction seemed confirmed. i may have turned on them.
i may have told my older sons that some day they would find me dead among their legos because the mess in their room was going to kill me.
i may have told my daughter that i have feelings, too, and her journey to discover her sense of humor was destroying my self esteem.
and, ummm, i may have told them that their behavior may be what causes me to start taking drugs to stay normal.

i know. horrible right?

i added that they were taking years off of my life and diminishing my quality of life with their shortcuts and laziness.
that part i don't feel bad about.

it has been described as "an epic adult tantrum."
and, like a young child after a hugely, ugly fit, i am exhausted.