So, In This Hour.....

Why does buying JetDry, that blue liquid you're supposed to put in your dishwasher, seem like such an extravegance? My word. I nearly had an emotional breakdown in the chemical isle. I NEVER buy it. But I always want it. It's a whopping $2.74 and I somehow take this to be the most expensive $2.74 in the known universe. Conversely, I spent $1.99 at a restaurant Thursday for a side of salad dressing to dip my fries in. I hate ketchup.
I know, I know. Get in line. I even annoy myself.

93% of the time, I'm pretty sure I'm married to the greatest man on the planet. He's like the physical manifestation of all my hopes and dreams. AND, he has no chest hair.
Here are some of his recent highlights:
-Thursday night, he made me laugh so hard I hurt myself.
-Friday, he came home early from work very early; about 2pm. I was still in my pj's, surrounded by unfolded laundry, lost in a book. Our youngest was eating Cheerios from a baggie. Bryan opened the door. Calvin ran to the door, squealing all the way. When he got a proper view of the state of things, he greeted me with a kiss, calling me "Stinky". When Calvin asked to go on a walk, Bryan took him right outside, loaded him in the red Radio Fyler wagon and trotted off. When Calvin ordered him to "go fatter", he went fatter.
-When I could finally pull myself away from my book, he took me to dinner. He didn't care that I had to wear a RedSox hat because I was still stinky.
-At night, he puts on a vest weighted down with 45lbs and does pull ups. It's almost so manly it's annoying. Ben, Jerry and I watch from the bed.
-Today, he, Lauren and I went on a diet coke run. Lauren noticed a kid (3, maybe 4)running alone through the parking lot. Bryan jumped out, of the car, ran across the lot and got to the kid just as a minivan was backing out. That cute little boy with his firetruck was just behind the bumper. Lauren and I watched from my car. We were stunned, sitting in our seats. Watching it all unfold, Lauren said she felt sick. I agreed. Plus,  my underarms were tingly.
-He has never, not ever, raised his voice at me.
-Early this morning, on my first diet coke run, I crossed paths with a man I call "The Creeper". This guy scares the hell out of me. He and I have crossed paths 3 times. Two of those times, he has tried to strike up a conversation with me.
Our first meeting was in line, late at night, at the super market. I was second in line, he was behind me. He immediately started complaining about his ex wife. He was clearly angry. I was clearly uncomfortble. He went on and on. I did my best to disengage from this onesided conversation. In a creepy twist, he began talking about me; saying how someone as pretty as me wouldn't be interested in him. Someone as young as me, pretty as me, attractive as me...he went on and on, repeating himself over and over and over. My skin was crawling and every internal, innate alarm was on red alert. When my transaction was finally finished, I got to my car as fast as I could. I threw my stuff in, showing no care to my bread and eggs. I had sense enough to make note of the few items in his cart and knew he wouldn't be far behind. I started my car and as I drove out of the lot, I made sure no one was behind me. I went a long way home just in case.
I was in tears when I got home. I have nevered been so scared in  public place. Maybe not that kind of scared ever.
I saw him again. I was behind him at  convienence store in another town. I didn't realize it was him until he spoke to the cashier. Just his voice made my every nerve a live wire.
 I see plenty of people in the course of a normal day. Almost no one scares me. This guy makes me feel like a gazelle on the African plains.
I hadn't seen him in months. Frankly, I had happily forgotten about him. This time he was 3 or 4 people ahead of me. He payed for his stuff and on his way to the door, passed all of the rest of us in line. He jerked his head up to me as  form of recognition. Out of pure reflex, I grinned slightly. Not a smile, I just pulled my checks up. It took a full second to register that it was "The Creeper." I paid for my drink and booked it to my car. Before I got my door closed, I was saying-as calm as I could- "It's him! Its the Creeper."
My husband's response?
"I know. I noticed him in the store. I watched him watch you when he came out."
Bryan had never been with me when I have seen "The Creeper."

Sometimes, I think I'm married to Batman.
I wish I could tell you more. But I'd have to kill you. Really.