So Many Things I Should Have Never Said Part I

Last year, at my daughter's Christmas recital, someone was teasing me about drinking diet coke. Imagine that?
I was minding my own business, shoveling more money into someone else's pocket by way of over-priced concert tickets, and I was being lovingly heckled. For whatever reason, a complete stranger chimed in. Not that I minded. I am all for meeting new people. She informed me that she was a nutritionist and (in her words...well...as best as I can remember) there is, "nothing....nothing I can think of that's as bad for you as diet soda. From a physiological stand point...." that's where I crossed my eyes and started to drool. When she was done, I gracioulsy agreed with her. I'm no fool. An idiot? Yes. Dumb? No. People send me the latest finds of health studies all the time.
She generously gave me some of her amazing health tips. Hooray!
So I nodded vigoriously and said, "I know. You are totally right. But the sadest part is that I will probably live to be 145 and you will probably die in a fiery car crash."
This comment went over like a lead balloon.
"That is a terrible thing to say. I have children, ya know."
Of course I know. Why else would she be here forking over money to video tape kids singing christmas carols?
Like I ALWAYS do when I say something stupid, I tried to explain myself. And it was like a lead balloon launch party.
She walked away. I was out of money so I walked away to join my husband who had witnessed the whole thing. He slung his arm around my neck and kissed my temple.
 "I still like you." were his words of comfort.
We checked our tickets and found our seats. I was almost done scooting down the row when I heard, "Oh great. Not you."
Guess who I was sitting next to?
Fun, fun.

There is a lesson in that story. I haven't learned it yet. I'm still as ridiculous as ever.

Like the time I was at church. It was crowded and I had to tell this guy something. I had been reminding myself all morning..."Don't forget to tell Mike that you can't be there to help next week." All morning I repeated this in my head. So when I saw him, I blurted, "I was thinking about you in the shower this morning....".
Yes, that was true. That's when I began internally chanting, "Don't forget to tell Mike you can't be there next week to help." But after that intro, no body bothered to listen to what else I had to say. I did a mental head slap.
He blushed. I blushed. I wanted to clarify. But really, why bother?
He asked if my husband knew about this. And when word got back to my husband he did the same thing he always does. He slung his arm  around my neck and kissed my temple.

Sigh.
To be continued.....