Texting with Kelly: Part Deux
You're excited, aren't you?
July 14
6:45am
Kelly: How are you? You ok?
Rachel: I got a new phone. All I can say is facetime baby!
K: Wooohooo! But not today. I look like hell.
2:07pm
R: We leave in a few hours. I'm a mess of emotions and I'm squelching them all.
K: Good call. Don't cry 'till you pull out. Then do it with sunglasses and a fresh diet coke.
2:46pm
R: Im sitting at my kitchen table in the middle of my street watching guys loads up my children's bikes. Ouch.
K: Ooh. I'm at Sonic. Should I get you one?
R: Yes
K: And a side of tots. Probably better than antidepressants.
July 16
6:12pm
R: We are taking the kids out to a place we saw on the Foodnetwork. Bet we drop $150 on dinner.
K: You travel like I do...senic route, and all about the food!
A few minutes later...
R: I just went potty. It's my luck that the toilet over flowed. Not backed up, OVERFLOWED. I'm in flip flops so I booked it out of that stall lickety-split.
K: That's like when Emily was potty training and had an accident in Costco. I knocked over a sprite, yelled whoops, then high tailed it.
July 17
6:29am
K: Why can't my husband and I get along? I swear....
R: Dang. Treat him like he's dying. You'll be more patient and he'll be more gentle in turn.
R: Or fake bad cramps and go back to bed.
K: I wish I could fake cramps. He's mad because I won't go camping without a trailer. He thinks it's a sellout.
K: Being lactose intolerant has taken all the fun out of cereal, by the way.
6:45am
K: I'm not in a good place. I'm annoyed with....[CLASSIFIED]
R: Woah. You need to break a femur. That will buy you an excuse to get out of all this and you'll get bed rest. I have prayed to break a femur before. I swear. You should try it. It's never worked for me, but maybe you have more of a need.
9:48am
R: Dang. A BMW just cut us off on the freeway. Bryan had to swerve to the far left to avoid hitting her. He plowed through some orange construction barrels. I'm still shaking.
K: Holy...I'm sorry!
12:23pm
R: Right now. Drop everything and go buy "My One and Only" by Kristan Higgins. I love it. And I think I love Nick. I don't know. I only met him a paragraph ago.
K: Nick who?
R: The guy from the book!
6:43pm
R: Buy this book! An example of why you'll love it...the main character, stranded in a small, hotel-less town, is staying the night with an older couple. She walks into the guest room where the walls are covered with dozens of pictures of "Jesus who apparently looks like Brad Pitt circa Legands of the Fall. Amen!"
7:14pm
R: Bryan just hit a deer. He's feeling pretty testy right now. But he looks really hot in his glasses.
R: UPDATE: the front end has issues and the drivers door is struggling to open. Super.
7:46pm
K: Give me another fav author. I'm ordering books for my camping trip. Fluff, please.
R: Where are you camping?
K: Glacier National Park
R: Thats where this book takes place! And in Massachusetts! Its a sign!
R: For some reason our blinker, when you signal to turn left, clicks twice as fast now. Seriously?
K: Shoot. Looks like you might have to trade it in. Seriously, whats the damage?
R: The driver's door is really hard to open and creaks so loud when you open it. Someone even came up to us and asked if we needed help. We are officialy white trash. And the Chevy emblem fell off.
K: Quick!! Go back and wear it as jewelry.
R: BTW, the heroine in this book hits a deer.
K: That's freaky. You need to manifest in another direction.
R: Who knows, maybe in the last half of the story she finishes her book, drops a dress size and, I don't know, beaks a femur!
K: Cory wants to know where the antlers are?
R: Tell him it was a doe. A pretty one.
K: He said, "Great. Now Bambi's mom is dead."
R: Creep. 5 words for Cory: Good luck with the trailer.
9:03pm
R: We almost hit a raccon.
R: 2 more deer just ran in front of us.
K: PETA is going to be all over you.
R: PETA should hate me. I love steak.
R: We're turning left and i can't stop laughing! Our blinker is so jacked up.
K: Cory said the blinker can give the deer twice as much notice.
July 19
11:10am
R: Donde esta chica?
R: Did I just ask you how you are or where you are? Where, I think.
K: In the trailor getting ready for the trip
K: Como esta is how are you. I can count to 10, too!
R: Braggert. Puedo ir al bano?
And I really mean it. I'm about to piss all the way down I-80.
July 20
9:55pm
K: Guess what I'm doing??
R: Do you love it? I got sucked in immediately.
What part are you on?
K: I just started. She had me at, "Dennis Costello was...well...the only fly in the ointment was the rattail..."
R: Beautiful literature, eh?
R: BTW, I taught Kennedy how to shave her legs in the hotel room last night.
10:15pm
K: Where are you?
R: When I offered to drive, Bryan worried I would drive too slowly. Instead I got a speeding ticket in Elk Point, South Dakota. Doesn't that town sound made up?
Currently, we are in Rapid City. Bryan hinted at a romantic evening. I said from girl's POV, rapid and romantic cancel each other out.
K: Bahahahaha! Did you know there is a road outside of Boise called Chicken Dinner Road? Not lying.
R: Beautiful.
3:13pm
R: If Bryan says Jack-a$$ one more time...
July 21
12:35pm
R: $44 at Taco Bell? I'm embarrassed.
K: Where are you?
R: Wyoming. How goes the camping prep? I bought a new Kristan Higgins book. It starts with her lamenting how she's fallen in love with priest.
K: I've driven that road. LONG.
R: Are you talking about Chicken dinner road? Or something else??
K: Ha! That is also the second book I bought for my trip. Freaky.
R: Maybe our frequencies are easy to read considering our close proximity. Imagine when we are in the same room? I bet the lightbulb blows.
1:55pm
R: "He looked ridiculousy appealing in black. Granted the white collar takes away some of the zing."
K: Nice.
2:27pm
K: Cory accidentally sent this to a lady today:
"I love you. You have been awesome. Things will work out today. Leave for me whatever you need me to do when I get home."
R: Awesome. Awkwad. Could be worse. Is he mortified?
K: He said he turns red everytime he thinks about it.
Sorry to tell you this has been edited. And I didn't get my daughter's OK to add some really good stuff.
Never the less, we made it to Portland, safe and sound. We took 10 days to make the trip. I'm a bit surpirsed we made it. The DVD system didn't work, I was always asking my husband to stop at the next restroom. Some of my kids, who should have been asking, weren't....But my husband (who drives like Jason Bourne and is as angry as every other Massachussets driver) got us there in one piece.
Minus the Chevy emblem.
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